tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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