im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
