Buhtt sex?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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