just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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