I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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