If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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