you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
