when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My bed smells like the plague
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
