I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize