haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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