I think I died a long time ago.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
