Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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