Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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