you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize