I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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