I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
