I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
