so explain again why im purple
no
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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