I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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