is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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