doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
