go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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