Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
