he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
