its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
