3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
