Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
