I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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