I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
