Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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