hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
