It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
