Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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