Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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