No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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