i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
