And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
