I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
