Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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