I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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