I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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