with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
