So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize