On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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