Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
