I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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