Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
