Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
