I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
