Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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