there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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