youre lurking in front of me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
