if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
