I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize