We named our party play list daddy issues
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
