You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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