I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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