just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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