I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My hand turned me down
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
