i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
