She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
